xlr8myheart (xlr8myheart) wrote,

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Finding You Again chapter 1 part 1 of 3

Title: Finding You Again
Chapter: 1 part 1/3
Pairings: (Main) Hyukhae and Yewook (Side pairings) Kihae, Yoosu. Eventually Changmin/Kibum
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (Sequel to Finding You ) Donghae is given a second chance to find his soul mate, but will the consequences of his decision keep them apart?

Warning/A/N: This might be confusing if you don't read the Prologue

Note: This is written from Hyukjae's point of view.

Hyukjae's P.O.V.

Everything was white, snow blanketing every inch of ground for miles. No matter which direction I turned all I saw was white. It wouldn't have bothered me, this desolate tundra of ice and snow if it wasn't for the cold. It was unbearably cold. Too cold for any human to be able to survive, but here I was, standing in the middle of a snow storm, freezing and alone.

The wind was whipping across my face at speeds cars couldn't reach. It was cutting into my skin, burning me, freezing me, killing me. I wanted to cry out for help but I was alone, forever alone. No mile markers giving away my location. There was only nothingness, nothingness and white and cold.

I fell to my knees, finally unable to withstand the blaring cold winds. It was too cold, yet too familiar. Suddenly I felt the wind stop, the warmth increase a tiny bit and it was no longer snowing.

I looked up and saw a tree, a giant tree with limbs stretching out in every direction. It felt like the warmth was radiation off of the tree. It felt like safety. It felt like home.

I tried to crawl closer to the tree, needed to get closer so I could touch and feel this tree that felt so familiar yet so mysterious.

I reached my hand forward, pushing the tips of my fingers farther, just one touch, that's all I needed. Just one touch...




My eye's shot open at the incessant sound of my alarm clock ringing. I reached over and slammed my hand against the offending object.


I realized then that it wasn't my alarm clock but my cell phone. I fumbled aimlessly to reach for my phone, only causing it to fall to the floor.


I let out a grumbled sigh before sitting up and grabbing my discarded phone off the floor.

"Hello?" I snapped with a sleep deprived voice.

"Always so snappy in the morning" it ws Junsu, just the sound of his voice made my heart flutter and I was suddenly wide awake.

"Sorry" I apologized "What do you need?" I asked, there had to be a reason why he was calling me at this ungodly hour of...I turned my head to look at the alarm clock...11:13 in the morning.

"I just wondered if you wanted to go get some breakfast" Junsu said and my heart soared, well until he finished his sentence "Yoochun..." at the mention of his name I frowned and my heart fell. Yoochun was a great guy. He was funny and smart...okay, and handsome. He had a way about him, like he was too perfect to be real. If I believed in such silly things I would claim that Yoochun was an alien, but there are no such things as aliens so that is a ridiculous comparison.

"...has to go to his piano exam or whatever it's called and I'm not allowed to sit in, so I was just thinking why not have breakfast with my best friend..." it hurts when he says that were just best friends, like we hadn't had relations together, like we hadn't been in love "...So?"

"Uhh...sure" I agreed. I'm pretty sure I missed the end of the conversation "where?"

"You fell asleep didn't you? I said at the cafe in an hour" Junsu repeated

"Yeah, okay, I'll meet you there. BYE" I yelled standing up to get ready, I only had an hour.

"Bye" he giggled, it was mockingly beautiful music to my ears and then the line went dead.

I stood there for a second, thinking about how ridiculous this all was. I was in love with Junsu but Junsu had moved on. He had found Yoochun, and if I were completely honest with myself I would have to admit that Junsu and Yoochun made a better couple then Junsu and I ever made.

I shook the thought out of my head and walked towards the bathroom for a hot shower, hoping to warm my oddly cold bones.


As I walked into the cafe the strong smell of coffee invaded my senses. It was so familiar. This is how it used to be. I would meet Junsu in our coffee shop and we would talk and eat and lose ourselves in each other's company. But now it was different. Junsu had Yoochun now. Now Yoochun would steal kisses when the waitress' weren't looking. Yoochun would get to hold hands with Junsu under the table. Yoochun would get those looks of love from Junsu. I was no longer in Junsu's heart but Junsu was the only one in mine.

I put on a fake smile to mask the pain in my heart. Junsu ws sitting in our normal booth. There were so many memories in the booth.

"Hi" Junsu greeted me

"Hi" I greeted back, trying to push any thoughts of rekindling my romance with Junsu to the farthest recesses of my mind.

I took a seat across from Junsu. It was always so familiar, yet so distant, like a memory that wanted to be forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Junsu asked, just like he used to when it was only us "I'll buy" and then there was that smile, that smile no one could replicate, that smile that stole all the air out of my lungs, that smile that stopped my heart.

"Hyukjae?" Junsu called, pulling me back to the present "If you were so tired you shouldn't have agreed to meet me" he frowned.

"No" I protested "I just got lost in a thought" I smiled. No matter how tired I was I would always come if Junsu asked. It's all I had left to hang onto, these little moments alone with Junsu, when I could pretend Yoochun didn't exist.

Junsu smiled and I lost a few heartbeats "What do you want to eat?" he asked and just like that we lost ourselves in our own little world.

Just like it used to be...

Except that it was nothing like it used to be.

Junsu brought up Yoochun every few minutes.

"Yoochun loves coffee"

"Yoochun would know what I wanted to eat"




But how could I blame him? He was in love. If I had to count all the times I brought up Junsu it would probably shock even me.

And so I spent my morning listening to the man I loved talk about the man he loved.

And when it was over all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Because when I was asleep there was no such person called Park Yoochun, there was only me and Junsu. And on occasion the lonely white cold.


By the time I got back to the apartment I wasn't exactly in the best mood. I had spent the whole time thinking about how much I detested love.

Why was it such a fickle thing?

Why did we even have to love?

What was the point? When it only brought you pain.

I walked into the apartment and I was pretty sure there was an invisible rain cloud hanging over my head.

Anyone who saw me would know to leave me alone, well almost everyone.

"Hyukjae I need to talk to you" Yesung said and I turned to him, all rain storms and angry depression filling the room. But this was Yesung, 4D Yesung, Yesung who either couldn't distinguish or didn't care about mood.

And despite myself I went to sit down next to him, wishing I hadn't.

He just sat there silently and I was about to leave, thinking it was one of his jokes that didn't really make any sense, when he spoke.

"I...I'm in love with Ryeowook" he said and I turned to him glaring.

"Love?" I questioned. It's wasn't out of shock, I've know about their love for each other for some time now. It wasn't like Yesung was good at hiding his feeling for my cousin and all Ryeowook talked about was Yesung.

But love freezes you.

Love is a burden.

Love is pain.

"Yes" Yesung pressed on "I love him and I wanted your permission before I asked him out"

I scoffed at the notion.



Why did he even want to try when all it would do is cause him and my cousin pain?

Just like it had for me and Junsu

I sat there in silence, mulling over my views on love until Yesung spoke again.

"You're my friend Hyukjae...and Ryeowook is your cousin" he said. Both of those things were true "and I won't do anything if you're not okay with it"

I scoffed again thinking how stupid this all was. They were in love. And it would end tragically, it always did.

"It's pointless to love him" I said "either he'll leave you or you'll leave him...love doesn't last"

Yesung sat there with a shocked expression on his face that I couldn't understand. Did he really not know that? Love never lasts.

"It can" Yesung said after the initial shock wore off "if they are your soul mate"

All I could do was laugh at him. How preposterous. Soul mates? There is no such thing.

"You know he'll just leave you as soon as someone younger, smarter, handsomer, and a lot less weird comes along don't you?" I asked

"I doubt he even loves you" that wasn't true, Ryeowook did love Yesung but I said it because I wanted to hurt Yesung. I know it wasn't fair but I was just trying to save them the heartbreak.

"S-So you don't approve?" Yesung asked

"No" I said standing up and heading to my room, refusing to look back at the hurt that was undoubtedly showing on Yesung's face.

I was doing them a favor.

Love sucks.

They'd thank me eventually.

A/N: I hope you haven't forgotten about this story and I'm sorry it took so long to update but I got inspired by listening to DBSK Love in the Ice. I hope you like this and I will post the next two parts soon.

Thank you so much for reading <3

Tags: finding you again, pairing: eunhyuk/donghae, pairing: yesung/ryeowook

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  • 4 Drabbles

    Title: Beginning of stories that will never be told Pairings: Eunhae. Yewook. Kyusung. Haewook. Rating: PG-13 (for all 4) Summary: Four stories of…

  • Finding You Again Chapter 2

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